Our Time is Our Life.

Our time is our Life.

Wasting our time is wasting our life.

And Life is too short and too precious to be wasted.

But what is a waste of time?

Having fun, partying, playing games, facebooking and tweeting are not necessarily a waste of time

It depends why and what is our purpose in doing them

But here are sure wastes of our time.

1^st is to work hard on a job that we don’t enjoy

2^nd is to stay in a relationship that is not working and got no future.

3^rd is to make friends with negative people and people who got no passion in life.

4^th is to marry someone and do something only because of money.

5^th is to live life with anger and hatred toward others.

6^th is to live with too much  fear and worry, without trying and taking risk, and with the fear of failure.

7^th is to live a life without love, passion, purpose, compassion and meaning.

8^th is to live life without God and Wisdom.

Time is ticking.

We never know how much time left we got.

80 years?  50 years? 20 years?10 years? or maybe just 1 year,  But whatever.

Time flies, the next thing we know it’s near over.

So, don’t waste life.

Our time is our Life.

Live life to the fullest

Carpe Diem and be happy.

Misplaced Sense of Value

Why some things are scarce? And why do we value them so much? Isn’t God created just few of them because they are not that indispensable to life like the plentiful water and air?

God gave us in abundance what we really need to survive. But what we people value the most are the things that we don’t even need to survive like gold and diamonds. It is because most of us are driven by peers and events instead of purpose. Our sense of values are driven by what we see around us especially from media like TV networks, magazines and the internet. Little did we know is that these things are there to deceive us. They are created by some people who knows how to manipulate human nature for them to earn more money. As a result we don’t have much time to think and we take for granted what are really important to us. Most of us are just like walking dead like zombies.

Important things and important people, just because they are always there, just because they are common and are plentiful, we think we’ll always have them forever and we will always have the time for them in the future. So, we don’t take care of them. The truth is we don’t have all the time in the world. We will always be preoccupied by things until the day we lost what is important. Because anything we take for granted we will eventually lose. Then we will realize that the things that we are holding on are so useless. It’s going to be a painful wake up call. The bad news is that it is too late for us.

To know what are important, all it take is just a simple use of imagination. Imagine there’s no clean air. Most likely in a few minutes we are dead. Imagine there’s no clean water? Will we survive a week? I think we know the answer. Now imagine there’s no gold? Will we survive a year? Yes of course. It’s because it not that useful or vital to our survival.

 

I only use water and air as a metaphor for the important things in our life  like our family, people who care about us, our job, our health, our time, our learning and development, our subordinates or employees, our purpose in life, our society, our humanity, our environment, taking time to think and reflect, taking enough rest etc. While gold are things that most people value the most like fame, power, luxury, ambitions, more money, too much vanity, materialism, celebrities, etc. Now, imagine all of these important things I mentioned gone in your life? Your health, your family, your job? What would you feel? What would be the impact in your life.

I am not saying that we should not pursue the ‘gold’. They are infact fun and could make our life more enjoyable; however, we should only have them in moderation like making them as a reward when accomplishing one important task or when achieving a milestone in our life.

What we should value the most are the things and people that are and who are important. They should always be, and always will be our priority in life. We should spend more time with them and we should never take them for granted.

The question is can you?

Here are 3 things you can do:

1) Take a list of the things, activities and people you have in life.
2) Then ask yourself a question, what will happen and what will I miss if I lost this thing and this person.
3) Place a value on each one of them, 1 the lowest and 10 the highest.

Start doing first and spend more time with what is important.

This article is copyright by the creative commons.

Powering Up with Music

When having a bad day, all you have to do is to start the music to play . A good music even when it has sad melodies or lyrics can make us feel better. Psychological studies shows that music can really induce a good mood.

Music is part of our culture and traditions. It is one way of expressing ourselves. A really good music can identify with our innermost feelings and longings. We can feel it in our heart and it feels good to our soul.

I love music so much that there’s not a day that I won’t listen to a really good song. However, I am particularly selective with the kind I’m listening to. I like those that have good and positive lyrics  because I treat them as affirmations. I believe that songs, when listened to repeatedly, influence our subconscious mind and become part of who we are.

Let me share some of my favorite songs that really make my day going and level up my positive energy like the song Higher by Taio Cruz  ”The musics got me going higher, I feel like I can touch the sky”.  I can actually list hundreds of songs because there are really lots of good songs out there. Butl let me just list my top 40 favorites of all time.

I have been tying to keep this updated.

40) Billionaire by Bruno Mars

39) Smile by Uncle Kracker

38) Kiss from a Rose By Seal

37) Nothing On You by Bruno Mars

36) One by U2

35) Somewhere Over The Rainbow by Israel Kammawiwo’ole (In meet Joe Black)

34) Dynamite by Taio Cruz

33) Mga Kababayan by Francis Magalona

32) Don’t Worry Be Happy by Bob Marley

31) Stand by Me by Ben King

30) I Got a Feeling by Black Eyed Peas

29) Liwanag sa Dilim by River Maya

28)  Noypi by Bamboo

27) Life is Wonderful by Jason Mraz

26) Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson

25) I’m Yours by Jason Mraz

24) Beautiful Day by U2

23) Count on Me by Bruno Mars

22) Posible by Rivermaya

21) You Gotta Be by Desree

20) Firework by Katy Perry

19) You Can Do Magic by America

18) More by Usher

17) Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars

16) The Fire Inside by Bon Jovi

15) It’s my Life by Bon Jovi

14) Make It Mine by Jazon Mraz

13) I’ve Got The Power by Snap

12) Lose Yourself by Eminem

11) The Time of My Life  by David Cook

10) Never Say Never by Justin Beiber

9) Keep The Faith by Bon Jovi

8) Not Afraid by Eminem

7) Higher by Taio Cruz

6) I Believe I Can Fly by R Kelly

5) Eye of the Tiger  by Survivor

4) Never Say Die by Bon Jovi

3) Unbreakable by Bon Jovi

2) Live High by Jazon Mraz

1) Shout for Joy by Gary Valenciano

It took me a month reviewing and  listening again to all these songs before I finally decided which song will go to the top. With so many good songs out there, ranking  is not so easy.  You’ll see that Bruno Mars, Jazon Mraz and Bon Jovi dominate my list. These artist really have plenty of  good songs.  Bon Jovi’s Unbreakable is so upbeat and makes me feel like I’m really unbreakable and powerful. It demonstrate that I can do anything and surpass any obstacle no matter how big it is. Jason Mraz’s Live High is a cool song though sounds deep. It sets me in a reflective mode. It inspires me to live high, live mighty, live righteously and take things easy. Finally, my first choice is a classic, An OPM non other than Mr High Energy Gary V.  - Shout for Joy. This song still has it. The beat and lyrics and would propel one to feel like dancing, loving and rejoicing. It just feels great to be able to sing and feel the joy of giving praise to the One God Almighty – the source of all power, goodness, hope, joy and love we have in this world. That’s why it’s number 1.

I hope you like my selections too and somehow we might have something in common. If you are not  familiar with some of the  songs you may search them on Youtube. I will be glad if you can share your top favourite songs too !

Ok, let’s switch on the music player now.

So Real

So Real

I was walking down the street going back home. I saw an old man murmuring “the fire just won’t stop and the air is so dry” while looking at the garbage burning.  He looked worried.

When I lifted my head, I saw the side of the hill beside the road with mark of burned grass and tress.  It was filled with black and gray ashes all along the way. I was terrified of the view.

When I was near our house I’ve seen tress and plants around the fence and some of them were dry.  I was calling my Mom when I got inside, I told her with a loud voice – because they are up there on the 2^nd floor – to cut the tress because the air was dry. I was afraid that the tress might get burn and our house was so near with it.

Then I felt some movement on the floor and the things and the walls were also moving. I can hear them panicking on the second floor. I asked them if they want to go down. They shouted back ‘No’. The movement was getting stronger so I embraced one of the wooden posts. Everything was shaking for a few more minutes. As it was shaking I was worried. It might turn down many buildings and homes and many people might die. But I was somehow confident that our house will not go down because half of it is made of woods and all the posts are made of trunk of strong and hard tress. When the shaking stopped, I rushed above to see them if they were Ok. But they all rushed to go down too. I looked around on the second floor.  Then I noticed a small fire on the side of the house. I was trying to put it off with my hands. Then I heard my sister shouting “Kuya, there’s a fire in here”.  I looked outside the window, I saw that it was raining and I was thankful because it was pouring.  On the ground I saw my Mom outside the house throwing bucket of water on one side of the house.  I went down to help and saw my sister and my dad inside the house also throwing water on the fire.  I’ve seen water flowing on the floor so I grabbed a bucket and soaked it with water and thrown it on the fire.  When the fire was finally off, I looked around the house and gaze at my family and I was so relieved.  I closed my eyes and said to myself “Thank God, I’m home when this happens”. When I opened my eyes, I was lying on my bed away from home and I realized that I was only dreaming. But it looked, sounded and felt so real. I can still feel the tension in my body.  It was 8AM too early for me to rise. I just write this blog and I’m going back to sleep and reflect about my dream.

 

Interdependent World

[I want to thank Shanelle for doing great amount of work in helping me edit this blog. At least by now you will no longer have to nosebleed to understand it better =). I also want to thank all those who gave their feedback to me. I appreciate it a lot]

Before we graduated from college, we were required to attend seminars. On one seminar, the instructor asked us to write our dreams and share it to our group mates. I still remember what I wrote. 1^st, I wanted to become a leader and a role model. 2^nd, I wanted to have a wonderful family. I still have these dreams on my list except that I have extended my list up to 10.

I was only 22 then, yet I was already thinking about family? Not really. You should know that by now. I just had this idea of family in my head during that time. It was maybe because my family was not that great or wonderful as I thought it could be. Don’t get me wrong. I love my family but I think it’s just a good and average family. A lot of possible great things were never realized. If only my Dad and Mom had an interdependent relationship, maybe our life was not that difficult for us.

My Dad was not that bad. He was a good and meek kind of guy. He never hurt my mom or us, siblings, verbally or physically. It was just that, he had other priorities in life. He loved politics so much and made many friends but I felt he least prioritized us sometimes. He reached out helping other people even nothing was left for us. Yet, politics and friends never made him any good. In the end he lost his job and all the elections he vied for. When he got sick, he sold our farm and mortgaged our house.  My point really here is that, Mom and Dad did not share dreams and purposes together. They have different agenda and never totally supported each other. That is why, in our family, the culture of purpose and unity was never known. Achieving synergy was not common. Relationship within our family was not without a constant struggle. Everyone always had his and her own agenda.

But I can’t really totally blame my parents because they were clueless and knew nothing about INTERDEPENDENCE. Their parents never taught them about it. But isn’t it true that lots of other families out there are just the same? There’s no use on blaming people for the things they don’t even know and understand. The best thing I can do now is to do everything in my power to become a transition person and start an INTERDEPENDENT relationship within my family.

Of course, interdependence is not only applicable to families. It is applicable in all aspects of our life that involve relationships. I maybe single but I think I know a lot about relationships. Relationships start within ourselves. Mastery of one’s self. Many people pursue relationship even when they didn’t master themselves yet. They enter into a relationship without knowing what they really want and what kind of person matches their values and dreams. They just want a family. That’s all. So as a result, most relationships are in chaos. These never attain their full potentials. No common vision. No common purpose. No harmony. No synergy.

Let me now give you an introduction to the world of interdependence.

I learned about INTERDEPENDENCE from the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” written by now my favorite author, Dr. Stephen R. Covey. It was one afternoon when I found his book at the Adamson Library back when I was still a 4^th year college student. I was trying to improve my English and also wanted to learn how to become effective in my studies. The word EFFECTIVE got me.  Fortunately, I also learned something else. I learned that GREAT Life is all about EFFECTIVE INTERDEPENDENT relationships. Since then, I started reading his books including “First Things First”, “7 Habits”, “Principle Centered Leadership”, “Beyond the 7 Habits”and “7 Habits of Highly Effective Family”. Reading real life stories of transformation in his books made me cry sometimes. It made me dream to make a difference in my family and other people. It made me realize those 2 dreams on that seminar.

The highest level of maturity, Covey said, is INTERDEPENDENCE.  He mentioned that the maturity continuum has 3 levels.

The first is DEPENDENCE. It is the Paradigm of “YOU”. YOU depend on others. YOU don’t take responsibility of YOUr own LIFE. Most of the time, YOU blame others, your Mom, your Dad, your FAMILY, your co-workers on your OWN misfortunes. You DEPEND on what other people think, say or do. When people are reactive, sensitive and can get easily hurt with what other people say about them that means they are at this level. DEPENDENT people have the need of other people’s approval to be happy.

The 2^nd level of maturity is when a person has learned Self Mastery - when a person gains control of himself, his thoughts and his emotions. It is when he learns how to take responsibility and practice discipline. He becomes INDEPENDENT.  INDEPENDENCE is the paradigm of “I”.  I am responsible: “Response ABLE”. I am accountable. I don’t blame others. I depend on myself. I can make my own decisions. I can make things happen on my own.  At this level people no longer get easily hurt or get affected by what other people say. He knows his own worth and value. He knows what matters to him. He has his boundary solid and intact and totally controls what he would allow to influence him. It’s pretty much a good level. Unfortunately, most people stop on this level. They are not aware of third level.

The 3^rd level, as I already mentioned, is INTERDEPENDENCE. INTERDEPENDENCE is the best level a person can be. It is the paradigm of “WE”. WE can do it. WE can make great things together. Being INTERDEPENDENT is to recognize the value of other people. IT is being able to enjoy the SIMILARITIES and celebrate the DIFFERENCES. The similarities BOND them while their differences EXPAND their HORIZONS. Two INTERDEPENDENT people can be more than what TWO INDEPENDENT individuals can do. In an INTERDEPENDENT relationship, or INTERDEPENDENT WORLD as I want to call it, attaining SYNERGY is the objective. SYNERGY means that the sum of each part is greater than the whole. In other words, 1 plus 1 is not just 2. It can be 3 or more. SYNERGY is only possible in an INTERDEPENDENT WOLD. It can only be done by a TEAM of two or more INTERDEPENDENT PEOPLE. Interdependence is about finding the third alternative that would make all people involved win together. It is on this level that WIN-WIN is possible.  To achieve great things and to make great things possible, we have to rise above INDEPENDENCE into INTERDEPENDENCE. INTERDEPENDENCE is a CHOICE only INDEPENDENT people can make. In other words, you have to learn Self Mastery and conquer yourself first before you can be INTERDEPENDENT.

Although I have already known these principles many years ago, putting them into practice is very hard. It is a process but it helps me a lot to cope with the difficult moments in my life. It is only now, after several years of being a highly INDEPENDENT person that I realized I can only take my life into the next level or to the highest level by learning how to relate with other people better - be it my Mom, Sisters, relatives, co workers or friends. It is only now that INTERDEPENDENCE makes sense to me and that I desire to operate on this level. Unfortunately, I can only see few people who are on this level. Most people are either INDEPENDENT or DEPENDENT.  Even so, operating on this level still makes me effectively work with DEPENDENT and INDEPENDENT people. It makes me excited working together with other people with a purpose because a certain level of synergy can still be achieved. Dealing with Interdependent people will always be a great experience. At this level, the immaturity of other people doesn’t irritate me anymore. All I have to do is to assess their level. Are they dependent? or independent? How dependent or independent are they? More work and patience of course is needed for dependent people. But instead of getting annoyed, I would try my best to help dependent people to realize their potential and become independent or interdependent if possible.

It is my desire and wish that you too become INDEPENDENT, decide to become an INTERDEPENDENT person someday and when you are ready, to operate on the INTERDEPENDENT level. We can rock the world together.

Mundane Saturday

I was standing next to a lady and told her that I think I can fly. She gave me a look with a question mark on her face. Then I walked a little distance from her. She turned her back at me as if she was busy looking at something else. I stood straight and jumped from the ground like diving on a pool. The next I know was that I was floating in the air just like superman and I was moving slowly forward toward her. I was so excited for her to see me flying in the air.  Then I heard some ring. The ring got getting stronger and stronger as I was moving forward. Then the surrounding got dark and darker. When I opened my eyes I saw my cell phone blinking and ringing. I looked at it and it was 7:30 AM in the morning. What the hell I forgot to turn off my alarm on Saturday. I usually sleep late on Friday so I felt sleepy at 7:30 AM on Saturday. So I turned off the alarm and closed my eyes again. I was really hoping to get back to that flying dream that I have but I did not. I went back to sleep and dreamt again but I can’t recall them anymore.   It was 12:00 noon when I woke up again. I turned on my laptop to see what is happening around. Facebook and Twitter are 2 great inventions that will get you updated of the latest that is going on all over the world. Read some status on the walls and replied on some of the messages. Then I looked at the standing of my NBA Fantasy team at ESPN. Most of my players have played bad except for two guys. My 2^nd Rank standing is pretty solid anyway. Then I lied down on my bed again sensing how I feel. I felt kind of relax, just a little pressure on my back but overall I was feeling good and cool. There was no stress and any sign of sadness. Then I thought about what I should do for the rest of the day and how should I spend my Saturday in the future.  Call and chat with a friend? Go spend time on the mall and drink coffee at star bucks? Visit a relative? Attend some function or public gathering maybe?  I thought maybe I should just relax and read books and spend the whole day with myself. I kind of missing reading books lately as I was busy making reports at work and watching a couple of really good movies and TV series. It was 3 PM when I went out of Bed and took at bath. After that I took a look at my bookshelf and I pulled the Diaries of Ronald Reagan. It was a big hard cover book I bought a year ago but haven’t read yet. So I read the introduction and it said that Ronald Reagan and his wife started writing diaries when he became a President and regretted not doing so before that. I hold that though for a while. Writing diaries? I thought of the advantage of writing diary or sort of thing like that to be able to keep track of your thoughts and progress. I thought maybe it was indeed a good idea. So that is why I’m writing about how I end up spending my day today.  After reading a portion of the introduction of Ronald Reagan Diary I decided to go to Shangrila Plaza for Lunch as I was already feeling hungry. But I want also to drink a coffee and eat bibingkinitan at the ground floor. So I grabbed one my newly bought small book “Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman so that I have something to do when there’s an idle time. The book is quite technical so some part of it bore me a bit but I think it’s really a good book where I can learn to better understand emotion and the human mind. So I went to Shangrila and bought two pieces of bibinkinitan pastillas flavour and a cup of brewed kapeng barako and ate and drink slowly while reading the book leisurely at the food court. Bibingka with pastillas on it really taste good. On each paragraph I read I stop and look around me. As always there will always be beautiful ladies hanging around. That’s why I love to hang out at Shangrila. Aside from it was near my apartment there plenty of beautiful things and ladies around. I’m single and available so that should not be a problem right? Sorry, I’m just a guy with some level of testosterone hormone in me that makes me delight seeing beautiful ladies but I never really got the chance to actually talk and met someone there. Poor me = (.  It’s not my intention to meet anyone of them anyway.  At first the book bore me but as I persisted on reading but it finally caught my interest when it discussed something about the brain. Topics about the brain like neocortex and amygdala always interest me.  It said that the signal coming from our senses actually gets first to the amygdala which is the emotional brain before it gets to the neocortex our logical or rational brain. So we tend to act emotionally at first before acting rational which can either be good or bad. So it’s quite an interesting book. While reading I saw Pepper Lunch at the corner and decided to eat there. It’s a Japanese restaurant that served beef steak on a hot metal plate. I ordered Hitokuchi Cut Steak. It’s quite expensive for it cost almost P500 including the extra egg and ice tea but in average it cost will cost me around P100 for a simple lunch or dinner. It was kind of delicious as it was served hot and the beef was soft, tender and tasty. I really enjoyed eating every bite of it, as I ate it slowly while I continued reading the “Emotional Intelligence”.  So the steak was good and worth the price. The ambiance was good too. It was silent, beautiful and clean. I have this habit of dining and enjoying a delicious meal on a classy restaurant once a week.  I’ve learned that the price range for a real delicious food on a classy restaurant is between P500 to P2,000. So P500 for a delicious meal is really not that expensive at all.  I love delicious food and I am willing to pay for it if it will satisfy me. For me eating delicious and healthy food is a delightful experience and I don’t mind eating alone.

It was 5PM still reading and sipping ice tea at Pepper Lunch. I decided to walk around and look at anything that might interest me. I stopped at the appliance store and stood in front of this big LED TV display. I stood there for a few minutes and enjoyed the beautiful graphics that I was seeing on the screen. It was showing extreme sports and beautiful sceneries. It fascinated and consumed me. After a while I just decided to go home and write this blog. But before that, I end up watching the first episode of season 1 of Mad About You. It was good but I think nothing can really beat the humour of Barney of How I Met Your Mother. I also end up watching “Anger Management” movie. It was a nice movie and I gained some perspective on it. Then now here I am writing this blog. It is now exactly 8:32 PM. After this I plan to read a few more books and do some planning. I think today is a good day though. Slow and not so exciting but I learned something new and I’m feeling relaxed.  Maybe I should do some organizing of my stuff too before I end my day and update my 10-10-10 wishes, dreams and goals that I made last Oct. 10, 2010. There was something else that I also learned today about THINGS and EVENTS. I heard about it this morning. We kind of define our lives with the THINGS that we have or EVENTS that we get into and they kind of consume us. But what is really important is the PROCESS or EXPERIENCE and how it makes us FEEL. Just like today there’s no BIG THING that I bought and there’s no special EVENT that I get myself into. It is mundane, average, common and an ordinary day but somehow I enjoyed and feel good the entire day. I made myself experience and have fun with the simple things that I do today. So this Saturday is FUN time with me, myself and I. But tomorrow will be different I’m going to Swim and visit some relatives. It’s going to be FUN too.

The Fire Inside

The Fire Inside

It was one sunday afternoon. I was thinking about how would I spend my time for the rest of the day.  Search the web, look at the twitter and facebook and see what was new.  As always nothing was really new. So  I just played some music. There was this one song on my list that caught my attention. The fire Inside. It’s one of Bon Jovi’s unrealeased song.  Bon Jovi as always is one of my favorite artist. A lot of his songs are really good and inspiring.  His songs can always psyche me up.

What’s the fire inside? I asked my self. Deep inside I always knew what it was. There was this something that always put me on a crossroad.  Eveytime I made big decisions. It would create it’s own imaginary path, made me stuck and think about it. There was this voice inside me telling me “Mike you only got one shot to live in this world, why not give it your best.” But I have tried doing it several  times and it was never easy. Sure it  was fun but It was also risky and requires a lot of work and sacrifices. It consumed a lot of time and could be costly and painful when you fail. I know that based from experience. It’s hard when you don’t have that much money and people you can trust and help and support you. Especially in my case becuase I have to work and do it at the same time becuase I’m supporting my Mom and sister financially. The sad thing about it is that most of the time, it is something you have to pursue alone.  Most of your friends and relatives will only be there when you are already successful but when you are starting and striving you can’t depend on most of them. But Now I just want to take a long break from it, put it aside and take my life easy. Enjoy my work, maybe pursue a woman and work abroad, and do the FUN things that I missed in the past. But I know this won’t be for too long because this fire inside is always hunting me.

Bon Jovi is so right.

“There’s no way to stop the fire inside. You can escape a pouring rain. You can run for shelter in a hurricane. Change your face, lose your name. Lie about things you can’t explain. But there’s one thing that you cannot deny.  The fire inside. The fire inside. You can’t run from what’s in your blood and you can’t hide. From the fire inside. It’s the only way to know you’re still alive. The fire inside ♫”

I want to go out there and counquer mountains in business world. I think one can inspire more people not by words but by his accomplishments. One can help more people not by giving money and charity but by creating jobs and creating opportunities for people to rise above poverty. One can inspire more people by showing them what is possible and what they can accomplish. Will I ever do that? Wishful thinking maybe. I don’t really know but it’s the fire inside that I cannot escape.

How about you? What’s the fire inside you?  Please don’t forget to share your comments below.

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The Fire Inside – Bon Jovi

Silver bullet in the wild blue
Crack in the walls I’m coming through
Think you can stop me, well take a look in these eyes
You can’t cage what you can’t tame
There ain’t no rules, this ain’t a game
There’s no way to stop the fire inside
You can escape a pouring rain
You can run for shelter in a hurricane
Change your face, lose your name
Lie about things you can’t explain
But there’s one thing that you cannot deny

Chorus:
The fire inside
The fire inside
You can run from what’s in your blood and you can’t hide
From the fire inside
The fire inside
Tonight I’ll run I need no sleep
When it feels this good you’re in too deep
In blood I’m gonna write my name, cover my tracks I feel no shame
Just let ‘em try and stop the fire inside

Chorus:
The fire inside, the fire inside
You can run from what’s in your blood and you can’t hide
The fire inside, the fire inside
It’s the only way you know you’re still alive
The fire inside, the fire inside
There’s no place for me in heaven
Tonight I just might die
They’ll be no one to hold my hand
For me no one will cry
There’ll be no forgiveness but I’ll never deny

Chorus:
The fire inside, the fire inside
You can’t run from what’s in your blood and you can’t hide
The fire inside, the fire inside
It’s the only way to know you’re still alive
The fire inside, the fire inside
The fire inside, the fire inside
It’s the fire inside, the fire inside

Gents Definitive Guide to Being Cool (This also applies for Ladies)

Gents Definitive Guide to Being Cool (This also applies for Ladies)

My rule number one in my gents’ code is to be cool. Being cool is great. People like cool people and have more fun being around cool people. Most of the  most likable people are cool. Look at Barack Obama, Ronald Reagan, Ellen, Will Smith, and a lot more. Go think and list all most of the people you like and admire. Aren’t they cool?   The world have lots of negative people around and it now needs more cool people to produce good amount of positive energy to balance the toxic negativity around (and even the global warming LOL). Cool people make the world a happy and great place to live. You should be one of the them and join the Cool Club now.

Below is my Gents Definitive Guide to Being Cool, in no particular order.

1)      You are always calm. You don’t panic and freak out. You’re not a real gentleman and cool if you panic or freak out. Even at the midst of disaster, accident or tragedies like war or strong earthquake. People who panic die first. It will help if you remain calm, you will think better and find ways to survive or get out of the bad situation.

2)       You don’t complain or whine. You can reason but you never complain or whine. Complainers and whiners are not cool, stay away from them.

3)      You say ‘No’ with a smile = ). You give no excuses or unnecessary explanation. You just say ‘No’ or ‘I don’t like’ comfortably without any guilt. You’re comfortable in your own shoes and your own skin. You don’t worry so much about what other people say. You care about what other people say but you know what matters and what is important to you and you feel comfortable about it.

4)      You don’t say bad words, unless you are having fun with or kidding someone.

5)      You treat people with respect and you never belittle anyone. Not the guard, not the sales lady, not the maids and not the call center agents.

6)      You never judge the book by its cover. That’s a cliché. Better if you never judge anyone. Some people just play it dumb and you don’t know why people act the way they do. There’s a reason for everything and most of them you’ll never know.

7)       Be yourself. No, I mean be your best COOL self. If you are a whiner you know you can’t be yourself right? = ). You have to be cool, that’s your best self.

8)       You don’t say sorry or explain, unless it is necessary and when you make a mistake.

9)   You stand tall. You have good posture. You never slouch. It will help a lot if you stay fit and healthy.

10)   You speak with confidence. You don’t mumble. You look people in the eye. You speak up and stand up for yourself. You will be a lot cooler if you can speak in public with confidence.

11)  You say more with less. When talking, overall, you use fewer words in your sentences. You get to the point. Not unless you are trying to impress a beautiful lady with your romantic words. But when you talk to a guy always be straight to the point.

12)  You talk highly of other people. You expect the best in them. You never say bad things at their back.

13)  You don’t argue with everyone and with everything. It’s not always bad to argue but you will argue only with someone who knows you respect each other and someone who knows you are aiming for the best and win win idea. Otherwise you avoid argument.

14)  You don’t walk or move too fast but you don’t walk or move too slowly like a zombie either. But you do walk faster than average people.

15)  You like fashion. You don’t wear outdated dress just to be different. That’s called being weird.

16)  You are different — but not too different.  In fact, you have something in common with most people. But you develop your own style and you never pretend to be someone else.

17)  You are passionate. You don’t just do what you like but you like what you do. There’s a difference with doing what you love or enjoy and loving and enjoying what you do.  You do both and you most of the time have FUN! You can enjoy almost everything even cleaning the toilet.

18)   You don’t worry. You face problem calmly. You read and master my Blog The Coffee Bean Strategy (http://michael763.wordpress.com/2010/08/19/the-coffee-bean-how-to-better-deal-with-problems/)

19)   You are friendly. You can make friends with almost all type of people. You don’t reject people.

20)  You know how to better manage your emotions. You don’t easily get angry.  Anger maybe better than holding your emotions but it is no better than if you know the art of welcoming, allowing and letting go.  That means you know how to welcome, allow and let go of your emotions. Just like the way the sky welcome, allow and let go of the clouds. That’s a great metaphor ha = ).

21)  You never hurry. When you hurry you tend to make more mistakes and repeat what you do.

22)  You are trustworthy. You don’t lie but you can keep secrets and you don’t tell every one everything about yourself too. Keep at least 50% a secret. Have some room for mystery.

23)  You are humble and down to earth. You admit when you make mistakes and it’s no big deal.

24)  You don’t take yourself very seriously. You have fun with yourself. You don’t take others too seriously too. You forgive them when they do silly or make stupid mistakes.

25)  You are curious. You love learning and experience new things.

26)   You smile a lot when you meet people. You are absolutely positive. You’re a constant source of positive energy.

27)  You don’t seek attention or impress anyone. You do things because they are fun and it’s the right thing to do.

28)  You are not needy or demanding  You are not insecure. You develop strong boundaries. You feel secure inside. You don’t get hurt with anything other people say.

29)  You enjoy good humor and jokes. You make your own jokes too. (Knock knock..).

30) You are real, authentic and respectful. You can speak youe mind candidly but with all humility and respect towards others.  You are not insensitive. You know when to get serious and feel empathy towards others. Even if you think its not really that serious but you still emphatize with others and respect their feelings and beliefs.

31)  You like yourself. You know you are amazing just the way you are. You enjoy being with yourself. You can be alone and enjoy yourself just like how you enjoy yourself with a company, but you also naturally like and trust people and enjoy their company.

32)   You like a lot of things about life. You love being alive. You appreciate art, beauty and good design,  You like really good plays, movies and TV shows, You like cool music like ‘Just the way you are’ and ‘Dynamite’ (can you hear me singing?), and you are updated with the latest. You like beautiful places,  You love delicious food, You like pets too. (Well sometimes = ), I think dogs are cool). You really like a lot of things. I would end up with a thousand things If I list them all here.

Oops there are so many. If you think I forgot something that should be on the list. Don’t hesitate to send me your suggestions or feedback below.

If you master and exhibit all of these you’ll get an A++ rating on my Coolness meter. That is a 10. I love cool people. Join the Cool Club now.

That’s all for today and remember Always be Cool!

Mike

Become a Person of Integrity

Become a Person of Integrity

I looked at the online dictionary (dictionary.com) to see what integrity meant. It says 1st on the list adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.

In business world nowadays, when people talk about integrity. It means a lot of positive things. It is about being moral and ethical. It is about being true and honest. It is about walking the talk and keeping promises. It is about being trustworthy and knowing how to keep secrets. It is about being fair and honoring the deal. It is also about admitting a mistake when you make one and not cover it.

I believe that becoming a person of total integrity is one of the best thing that could happen to a person, and it is never too late to become one. I think some reason people lie, cheat or don’t tell the truth is because of fear and sometimes because of impatience. There were times in the past were I cheated or lied because of these two reasons but thankfully I never cheated or lied many times and made it a habit because it always tormented me and makes me feel really bad after doing it. I remember one time when I did not pay a bus because the conductor forgot to give me a ticket and because I didn’t have a job and wanted to save money that time. But my conscience bothered me and it was not really a good feeling. So, one day I decided to be honest all the time. I always pay when I ride a bus even if the conductor forgot to give me a ticket. But not only on the bus, in decided to be honest in everything. I decided to become a person of total integrity. I remember there were times in past where a sales lady forgot to get my payment when I bought a cell phone and I also honestly forgot about the payment. I was already out of the mall when I remembered it. Without thinking twice I turned around and went to the store and gave my payment to the sales lady. I’d seen how happy she was when I gave the money, It was a great feeling to see that and I was so happy and proud about what I did. It is not natural to me to lie or cheat, maybe because of the influence of  the books that I read, like the Bible and the books of Dr. Stephen Covey, John Maxwell and Brian Tracy because they talk BIG about Integrity. And I am happy that I was able to read their books, until now I keep on reading their latest books and other similar books.

Even at work. I always do my work honestly. When I make mistake, I will not cover it up and I will always admit it. Even if it would put me at disadvantage at times. But I know in the long term my honesty will win the trust of my boss and co workers. There was one time when I told a friend. Wouldn’t it be nice when you have a job and you don’t have to lie or cheat? Because there were some of my co Engineer in the past where they had to or intentionally cheat or report something that was not true. Luckily my job require me to be honest and report only what was true. Until now as a data analyst and programmer, I generate reports honestly and without cheating. As a result my boss and co worker trust me.

Being a person of integrity makes me feel good and have peace of mind. But that’s not all. The great thing about being a person of integrity is to be trusted. A lot of people especially those who know me, trust me a lot because they know I can be trusted. There was once when I asked my friends to lend me money because I had a business idea. A lot of them trusted their money to me. Some lent me 150K, others 100K, 50K, and 30K the lowest. Of course I kept their trust. I paid them all with some interest and they were happy. It is a great feeling to be trusted.

Imagine if you are not honest and people know that you cheat or not honest all the time. Would they lend you money? Would they make a deal with you? Would they trust you all the time? You bet. Even a few money they won’t lend you. I know some people who are not trustworthy. They don’t have a good life. They struggle because no body respect and trusts them. If only they know that honesty is the best policy. When people tell a lie or cheat, eventually it will be found out. People will know it and those who lie or cheat will never fool the same people twice or thrice.

When people don’t respect and trust you, you’ll have a very limited future and opportunity. You’ll have a very limited and unhappy life until you learn how to become a person of Integrity. It is never too late to become one. When you start to keep your promises, Honor your commitments, say things honestly, admit your mistakes. Your boss, friends, and family will start to respect and trust you. They will be happy to have you around. Some of them may even make a business deal with you.

Always keep this in mind when you become a person of integrity people will respect and trust you, and then a better future and great opportunities will be made available to you. So become one  = ).

 

Our Greatest Power

[This is one of my speech project in Toast Master = )]

Are there times in your life when we have to deal with difficult situations? like when people at work or at home are hard to deal with, won’t cooperate and self serving at best?  On this blog I will talk about aa better way of dealing w/ difficult situations because I’m going to talk about our greatest power

We humans, like animals by default behave on similar ways. We are driven by our desire for survival, our desire for beauty, pleasure and immortality. But there is something that makes us uniquely human. There is something that makes us superior and powerful above all others living things.  [What is this something? It is our greatest Power]

Our greatest power in life is our freedom to choose. This power enables us to rise above animals, to rise outside mediocrity and the course of least resistance.

Perhaps the best way for you to understand this power is to tell you a simple story.

Joseph work on a company where the environment is highly toxic, people complains and gossips a lot, won’t do their best, and  would cover up for their mistakes all the time. Joseph was overwhelmed by the situation; nevertheless he had chosen not to engage on such kind of behavior because he knew that he had the power to choose. Whenever he was on a difficult situation, he would think about his deeply internalized values and principles, values like “I will do my best all the time” and principles like “You reap what you saw” then he would imagine his vision for himself and his work, then he would use his Independent will. He would say to himself “I will not be affected by my moods or by other peoples behavior” or “I will make a difference”.  Lastly, he would use his conscience. He would always ask himself “Is this the right thing to do?” As a result he was able to do more and better jobs than most of his peers did that his boss eventually noticed and little by little his boss entrusted him the highest priority and highest urgency job on their section that he did very well w/o any complains. After 3 years he was promoted as a manager. When he became a manager, he created a kind of team he had envision for long where his subordinates had high moral, highly appreciated and had high trust w/ each other. Because of that his team produced a lot of result much better than all the other sections and departments that managers on other sections noticed and started to asked for his opinion. Little by little Josephs influence on that company grew and year by year that company transformed from low performing to a high performing company.  One person made a lot of difference because he used his greatest power.

You see most people allow their circumstances and situation drive and control their lives. Just like the animals their life is a product of their circumstances. Unlike great people like Joseph who are on the same kind of situation, same kind of circumstances but are not driven by it, because they use their power to choose that is based on values, principles, vision and conscience.  As a result they consistently produced a better and superior response that is so powerful that it could change their very circumstances.

“It is not what happened to us that makes us, it is our response to what happens to us that makes us.  If we use our freedom to choose and choose based on values, principles, vision and conscience, no matter how hard it is emotionally, we’ll have that Great power to transform every difficult situation.”